15.

Ten years ago on this very day, I inherited my dad's film camera on a rather tense note.

First touch. 

You don't have to look closely to notice what I was shooting with before: 

a bright yellow Olympus compact camera.

I was insistent on buying a film SLR without prior experience shooting in manual, and my dad was concerned I would
1) abandon my new interest after realising I didn't like taking photos as much as liked looking at them
2) spend a fortune on buying film and getting it developed, only to find "bad shots".

Roll 1, Penang, 2009
All photos to follow were taken in 2010

Only at the very last moment did he walk out of the room and return with a T70 and dusty box of filters that he had left untouched for the past 30 years. I looked at it in confusion, disbelief, and soon overwhelming delight... I never knew he had this back in the day, and that he had kept it. I never knew my dad or mum had the slightest interest in photography. He was worried I would abandon my camera like he did his.

Here's sharing some of my favourite shots from the first rolls I shot.

Each roll was significantly better framed, lit and focused than the last.

(phew!)

When I ponder over this incident that unraveled my journey in photography which continues to this day, I realise my dad had kept his dreams under wraps for so long, as though waiting for a sign or a good time to pursue them. I also realise that his prediction was not accurate. I loved the trial and error but also was urgent about getting the basics right. Transiting from a semi-auto to fully manual camera (a Russian Smena from Jon on one of my following birthdays) quickly lay the foundation for a lifetime of digital photography. Convincing Dad that I needed a DSLR was a whole other episode; because it was yet another investment. And while photography earned me a bit of cash, I never felt compelled to make it my livelihood.

Capturing visuals continues to be one of my favourite pastimes, as an integral piece in storytelling. When there is no pressure to prove why you should pursue a passion or learn a new creative medium, it can be a much more leisurely ride. But I think this pressure, whatever form it takes in your life, can be healthy. I know it was with the best intentions that dad made me pay in part for almost everything I deemed important to have - whether a keyboard/midi, DSLR or a Macbook... I would learn to create meaningfully. For this I am so thankful.

But I think this pressure also limited my vision and confidence for a long time.  I didn't want to confirm my parents' belief that this unconventional journey was not "worth taking". Additionally, social media changed the dynamics and motivations of personal documentation. As irreverent as the process appeared, I often dreamed of making things which appealed to others and represented what others believed. I assumed the making of something popular was successful, and that if people didn't like it, it wasn't worth doing. Eventually, this belief fell through for me.

Having dissolved my Instagram account just days before my birthday, I'm back and continually creating. Meanwhile, I am astonished by how my folks have changed as I grew these ten years. While "unlimiting" myself, I will also do my best to unlimit my expectations of others, because people do change, grow and love like never before. Keep hoping, keep seeking, and keep journaling. Take stock of victorious moments, good things you never thought would happen. Ten years from now, I know I'll look upon this memory with even greater fondness.